Mommy interview: Farai
So, tell Black Mom Life a little about yourself. Please provide any social media or links you’d like to be shared.
Hey black mama's, my name is Farai, I am a Zimbabwe-born, Botswana-bred, Kansas living mom with a love of life and penchant for all things minimalist and eco-friendly. I am a writer and blogger at thehillbillyafrican.com and podcaster for blackminimalists.net . You will typically find me in a garden, making tinctures in my kitchen, teaching baby-wearing, at playdates or lamenting about why I haven't learned how to knit yet.
How would you describe black motherhood from your own personal experience?
Its a process of unlearning and awakening for me. I knew when I was pregnant I wanted a different childhood for my child. I wanted it to be free of shame and violence. So I had to do a lot of unlearning. Journaling, seeing a competent therapist, reaching out for help when I needed it. It was also incredibly glorious. The fact that my child's spirit chose me to be her mama leaves me in awe. Its the sweetest challenge that I get to be one of her life guides. I try not to take it for granted, and when it gets hard remember that it shall pass.
How long have you been a mother?
A little over two years, but it feels like a lifetime already.
What does an average day with your children look like?
Wake up Snuggles and Diaper Change Breakfast of fruit or waffles (her current obsessions) Playdate/Library/Park time/ Hang at home Lunch Nap or another activity More playing/reading/playdate Dinner Bedtime hopefully by 8. Our schedule revolves around her dad's work schedule typically and if she sleep late I typically eliminate her nap so she sleeps good at night. We plan on homeschooling and want her playing and living her best life so she has a pretty active imagination and lots of friends to have playdates with.
What’s one thing you feel black mothers need to know?
That we need each other. That its ok to unplug from toxic narratives that this trash ass society tries to impose on us. That we should follow our intuition. That we should stop rewarding mediocrity from people we have kids with. That we are stardust. That we incredible, and resilient, and fly. So fly.
What do you think black children need to thrive in a world that tells them they aren’t enough or valued?
I think we need to allow our black children to be just that, children. To stop sexualizing them so young. To allow them to play outside and get dirty and not be so put together. The world is theirs to inherit and they should learn how to live in it and enjoy it. Let them push boundaries and cry and explore all the things that are developmentally appropriate for them.
What do you enjoy most about being a mom?
When my daughter yawns and I sniff her breath is the first thing for sure My kid encourages me to chase my dreams and see myself and the world from a lens of gratitude. For example, my post partum body was not something I ever expected. But I had the choice of being down in the dumps and being upset about it, or I could see my body for what is is. A collection of bones, muscle, sinew and blood that did the amazing thing of creating and birthing life. That fact gave me peace and left me with no room but to be grateful for this amazing body. I am constantly finding the joy and delight in my life thanks to her. She makes everything sweeter. Even the struggles. Our arduous breastfeeding journey that began with her in the NICU is sweeter now knowing how much I busted my ass to maintain my supply while we were separated and she wasn't latching.
Wha do you think black mothers need to thrive while raising the future?
Community Nourishing food Clean Water Rest Peace Laughter Spiritual exploration Beauty
Any other thoughts you’d like to share?
I am thankful for all spaces black mama's can get together and share our journeys. Thanks black mom life for the feature! @thehillbillyafrican